{Loving Your Wife} J.T.'s beautiful sacrifice.

This story has been reposted with permission from my friend Nat Pugh.  Nat often speaks of the precious unconditional love of his parents, but recently when he blogged about the tender care his father showed his mother as she grew ill.  Reading it made me want to love my Mr. Wonderful better.  I pray it inspires you in the same way.

Dad said he would slow down and quit traveling so much once Mom could no longer take care of herself.  She had Parkinson’s and the disease progressively ate away at her mobility and agility…but not her sense of humor or her spirit.  They were in their early 80’s but he was still in demand as a preacher and he loved nothing more than to hop on a plane and jet off to some location to inspire all who heard him.  If you ever heard him, you never forgot him.  But he loved Mom more.  He did stop his traveling and tirelessly devoted himself to caring for his bride of over sixty years.

Before bedtime he would remove his hearing aids rendering him basically deaf.  There was no way he could hear Mom’s soft voice in the middle of the night asking assistance to get up to go to the bathroom, or help rolling over.  So dad came up with a profound act of love.

He went out and bought a small rope and cut it to about six feet.  He tied one end  of the rope to the railing of Mom’s hospital style bed they had moved into their bedroom.  Nightly, he would tie the other end to his wrist before going to sleep.  When Mom needed him she would tug on the rope, waking him so he could get up and help her.

Dad lived love in action as her daily care took a toll on his own health.  She became his focus.  I told him those last few years were his finest.  I told him I was more proud of how he loved and cared for Mom than any of the significant accomplishments of his life.  His actions spoke volumes as he, more than any man I know, practiced what he preached.

Question:  I see J.T.'s love for Bessie in Nat's life as he loves his sweet wife, Dana, with the same sacrificial love.  Are you putting the interest of your husband or wife above your own like J.T. modeled so beautifully?  A great way to find out is to ask your spouse a simple question:

What do I do that makes you feel most loved? 

{Giving my son away} Loving him enough to let him go (twice).

 I'm back from my wedding planning trip, and I'm tired.  So. very. tired.  

It's not so much because Mom and I explored the city of Houston for two days looking for rehearsal dinner venues, or even the tsunami of details yet to be decided before the wedding...

I'm tired because it's hard work emotionally to let go of my boy~ 

Even to the most deserving bride.

And his Meagan truly is above and beyond what I could have ever hoped or imagined.  

There's not a doubt in my mind that she is the one I've been praying for.

Most of the time I'm giddy as I anticipate the moment their blue eyes meet as she glides down the aisle on her father's arm like a dream.  But there are moments, like right now, when the house is empty and quiet {Mr. Wonderful is out of town} when tears blur 

the letters on the computer screen, and it is really hard. 

Giving my boy away creates a sacred, ironic, noble kind of sadness.  

• It's sacred because the glorious, God-designed mission of motherhood allowed me to birth and raise a son.   
• It's ironic because I don't want things to change, but I don't want them to stay the same, either.   
• And it's noble because letting him go requires a profound, selfless act of courage.

I made this sacrifice once before, on my knees, after my cancer diagnosis.  Uncertain about my future, I wept and prayed and lifted my hands to Jesus, offering my children to him forever.  I survived cancer, but that moment marked me.  I gave him away once, so I figure I can give him away again.  Because that's what mother's do.

Tonight I escaped to the attic and sat amidst the boxes of soccer trophies and tubs full of Legos and plastic army men.  I shifted things around until I found the large, long plastic box labeled "Blake."  Holding my breath, I could feel my throat tighten as I snapped the lid off and looked inside.  It was full of over sized, extra large zip-lock bags bulging with memories.   Random things filled the box along with Blake's school work, journals and art. 

His first pair of Stride Rite walking shoes,

a grey construction paper mouse,

a spiral full of prayers from his fifth grade 

Bible study,

his tattered, thread-bare, sharpie-scribbled red converse sneakers 

(oh, how he loved those shoes!),

and his graduation tassel.  

It was good to sit and drink in his life as I laughed and smiled through my tears.

There have been times when my children needed to move on, when instead of trusting God, it was as if I grabbed both their ankles forcing them to drag me out into the world with them, my weight holding them back like an anchor.  As they went off to school, camp or college, sometimes I would tighten my grip on those ankles until I heard the voice of God. 

"Do you want my best for your child?  Then you must let him go, trust me.  
I'll help you."

I'm claiming a mothering victory on this one. 

I've had my reflective moment.  Now I'm getting out in front of it, pressing into the sadness, and pushing through to the 
joy!

Question:  Is there something you need to release your child to do on their own?  Are you hindering their growth by holding on too tightly?  Whether it's starting school or getting married, kids learn to rely on God when we release our grip and let them fly.

Wedding planning and marriage advice.

I'm off to Houston to secure the venues for the Rehearsal dinner and Bridesmaid's luncheon for our upcoming wedding.  I'm taking this pair of precious coffee mugs with me to give to the bride and groom {see the writing on the inside rim?  It reads, "I have found the one my heart loves." from Song of Solomon 3:4}

I can hardly contain my joy!

I also packed a copy of The Knot Book of Wedding Lists just to make sure I'm not missing any of the details, and of course my trusty organizational binder that holds all the sacred lists~ it is adorned with my "She said, YES!" printable. 

The other day I read a terrific blog post by Chance Scoggins where he shares a valuable piece of marriage advice he learned from his wise friend.  

Chance tells about their conversation.  

It began when he asked this about marriage:

I asked him, “How can I be sure we’ll last forever?”

“You can’t.  You can only be sure it’s going to last forever a day at a time.  You make it to forever bit by bit.”

Read the rest of Chance's story here.  {And consider following Chance's blog; he's terrific!}

Question:  When you consider your marriage and the difficulties you face in it, is your first reaction to examine how well your spouse is meeting your needs?  Why not reframe the question to something like this:  How well am I meeting the needs of my spouse?

After all... he (or she) is the one your heart loves!

{Howard Hendricks} Do the job you love.

image by skylab via
Howard Hendricks died today.
He was a professor at Dallas Theological Seminary for 52 years, and according to this video interview, he loved it so much he would have done it for free.  Watch and see this gentle man describe the joy he experiences doing what he loves.

Prof Hendricks influenced many prominent preachers: Tony Evans, Bruce Wilkinson, Charles Swindoll and David Jeremiah are among the most renown.   He also taught my Mr. Wonderful, and thousands of other students who went through Dallas Theological Seminary. 

  Back in 1983, Mr. Wonderful went to a Campus Crusade conference called KC '83 with 17,000 other college kids.  When he heard Dr. Hendricks speak he was profoundly moved.  In fact, Mr. Wonderful enrolled in Howard's Bible Methods class at DTS after moving to Dallas the following year.   

Fast forward 20 years or so, and Mr. Wonderful was introduced to Howard's son, Bill Hendricks.  As you can imagine, Bill makes his father proud by helping others find their God given calling through his Giftedness Center.  Dwight worked with Bill during a difficult career transition and Bill helped him find his way.  If you ask Dwight about Prof or his son, he will tell you that Howard and Bill changed the direction of his life.  

Mr. Wonderful introduced me to Howard when we ran into him at a Young Life Ski Resort in Colorado a few years ago.  His face lit up when Dwight spoke to him, and I saw the twinkle in his eye and sincere delight in his voice as he engaged his student.

I found another AMAZING teacher you need to meet via video.

The video is 12 minutes, but you must watch it until the end.  It just gets more remarkable along the way.  Jeffery Wright teaches Physics and COMPASSION.

This blog post is our way of saying thanks, Prof Hendricks, for embracing your God-given calling and finding joy in it..

No doubt, your legacy will just keep rippling outward. 

Question:  As you think back to the teachers in you life, which ones were the most influential?  Why don't you take a few minutes and see if you can find them through Facebook or an internet search, then text or tweet or post a little thank you on their wall.  It's never been easier to say "thank you!" 

If you are reading via email, you will need to click HERE to view the videos on my blog.

{Cleaning closets as a labor of love} What to keep, what to give? Free Printable

Download Robert Morris Quote HERE.

A few summers ago, my sister and I helped my mom and my aunt clean out my grandmother's house.      It was privilege to help, but it was difficult.  

We laughed and cried throughout the week-long process. 

Just like the reality television show, Clean Sweep, we created "give", "throw" and "keep" piles as we worked through the house.  After hauling a lot to the trash, we were left with some useful furniture to pass along to our young adult children and lots of beautiful items {letters, recipes, photos and other treasures} that told the story of my grandparent's lives.  

As a result of that experience, Mr. Wonderful and I are getting a head start purging and sorting our packed closets and overstuffed attics.  We decided the empty nest was a good season for starting the project.  

This wonderful quote by Robert Morris has given me the perfect filter to evaluate each item.  So I ask myself, "Is it useful or beautiful?"

We hope to purge the excess and keep the useful and beautiful.                    

I created a little chalkboard printable for myself~{And to share with you}  

Don't you find it oh, so inspiring?!

This purging and organizing process is meant to bless our children, so we'll leave them with less to sort out later in life.  I also hope to organize family pictures, the children's  artwork and other keepsakes so they can be enjoyed.   I'll be sharing about some of the ways I discover to help make that happen on Bless Your Neighbor.

Won't you join me?

Question:  Have you experienced the difficult process of cleaning out a loved one's house?  What if you spent a little time each week cleaning out your own house so that your children wouldn't be left with the burden of doing it later?

{Perfect Love} The One who loves you most.

On this day of love... a beautiful reminder:

Our capacity for love exists because of His great love for us.

He loves you.  No matter what.

{Music for a Happy Soul} Rend Collective's Campfire Story

My young adult children have the most remarkable taste in music.  

Their generation is blessed with technology~ allowing a generous sharing of music,  exposure to independent musicians and the ability 

to record their own music in a closet on a whim.

This morning, Mr. Wonderful and I received a group text from the kids alerting us about  

       Rend Collective's new album, The Campfire Story.  

This album was literally recorded by a campfire at the beach.  

My heart beat a little faster and I was swept away to Lakeview United Methodist Church Camp when I listened to the first song... they began with a chorus of Kumbaya.

But don't think this is a throwback to 1970. 

It is fresh and real and current and amazing.

Hear the story of it's inspiration in the following video, and then buy it on iTunes.  

It will strengthen your faith, lift your spirits~ 

and put a jig in your step!  

The album ends with with a song called Praise Like Fireworks that had me 

dancing around my office!

And for all my friends who have young adults in your lives~ 

you will be a super cool, in-the-know friend if you tell them about this worship band 

you've discovered called the Rend Collective.  

Find their music HERE.

And their website HERE.

Question:   When was the last time you invested in some new music to feed your soul?

Why don't you send an iTunes gift card and link to the Rend Collective's new album to a friend or college student?